I’ve spent the past few hours sitting on my new bed. I spent the last few hours sitting on this bed counting the beds I chanced in the past few years. I changed more then 5 beds in the past few years. I moved in more then 4 towns in the past 4 years and in each one of them I tried my best to feel at home. In each of the four towns I decorated my room so that all the 5 beds I changed in the last 4 years could feel like my own.
I changed 4 towns in the past 4 years, looking for my future, calling it out loud as a desperate mother looking for her lost child. I hanged signs on every tree of the 4 towns I moved into in the past few years. Each sign said bold and clear ” HAVE YOU SEEN MY FUTRE, is my future here?”.
I searched for my future in the past 4 years, I searched on the net, on the streets, in the air, but no matter how many times I felt at home I still aint found my future any freaking where.
Reaching for my twenties I’ve always had the fear that this moment would arrive, and now the moment is here. In my nightmares there are no ghosts, spiders or any creapy creature. In my nightmares I’ll never get to choose the bed on which I’ll build my future.
What is wrong?
To be 15 and rent a room after prom? To wear a white dress with a black tong? That rap song where “ he fucks his bitches” all night long, red hair, brunette and blonde, cuz power is money and money makes you strong, so you can fuck your bitches all night long cuz after all they belong, to u.
What is wrong?
In this society sex is like the bogyman, some horrifying monster humanity can’t destroy, “don’t watch porn boy, play with that toy of yours, the one where you kill people on a display!” That’s what moms always say. We live in a world where movies show you the creepiest tortures to entertain your mind but to masturbate too much will make you blind. We live in a world where religions preach against love and copulations and not against sexual humiliation, racial segregation, political discrimination or against the constant glorification of war, justification of violence. We live in a world where the self abnegation of women makes us feel all a little bit more pure, where the idea of a girl that enjoys physical pleasure can be often confused with a whore, where we are always considered too immature to discover the obscure mystery of love, and we need a cure if love is not made in the biblical sense.
This society preaches virginity and a white veil, sex is love or sex is male cuz the power of social pressure on women doesn’t fail, they wanna pleasure us but never care whether or not our moans are real. We live in a world where women feel ashamed to talk about their treasure, to say out loud that they give em selves some pleasure, in a world where men feel the pressure to measure up with the others and we have all secretly judged single mothers.
We hide the concept of sex from children because to be born in lettuce or brought by an ugly looking bird is better than a beautiful act that involves what’s under ur pants and beneath my skirt! We tell our daughters to stay home at night but its not teen pregnancy we really fight, its the horrifying idea of her defloration sadly liked in our minds with humiliation, domination and eternal damnation. Why the thought of a girl reaching an orgasm is so shocking to you? Is it new? Gross? When girls scream they as hot as kate moss!
Is weird that I watch porn? Do u watch porn? U should watch porn! Keeps u warm when ur alone!
So don’t teach your children to fear what it appears to be the greatest gift of all times, tell em bout the silent killer in peoples veins, tell em to play no games but to be kind, respectful, and to fully enjoy the flames of love.